More ASBO's needed in Seedley says local MP
Riot police were called to a house in Seedley this morning after a serious domestic disturbance ended up with at least one pensioner in a flood of tears. The pensioners younger sibling was given a severe "ticking off" after calling a police officer a gayboy. A third sister, described by police as a serious threat to public safety, was detained for almost 15 minutes after attempting to strike a riot officer on the knee with an alluminium crutch. The officer was unhurt, but the crutch has been removed as a precautionary measure whilst the Crown Prosecution Service determine whether there are grounds for charges to be laid.
Police were initially asked to attend when a row spilled out onto the streets at 10pm following a prolonged bout of finger pointing and name calling. A local resident, Chantalle Ebony Guttersnatch, told reporters that: "they were all obviously slaughtered. The eldest woman was waving a can of Co-Op Superstrength at this other woman, whilst the mad woman with the crutch struggled on the ground with the Riot Police as they attempted to remove a half empty bottle of Kwik Save brandy from her spare hand. f*%kin nutters and I'm sick of it round here." Another resident said he heard one woman shout "come on then, outside. I'll kick your arse all the way to a f@#kin' council house on poets". Another woman was spotted nearby biting her fingernails whilst gossiping into a mobile phone with anybody who would listen.
One of those involved in the disturbance, Mavis Crowe, was still incandescant when interviewed by police saying "I'm sick of hearing about Saints and Sinners. Oi!, yeah you, gayboy, give me another brandy!".
